An imaginary insight to a torn apart soul writhing for repair...

Ten thousand times I must have asked myself,
Ten thousand times the same damn thing,
"Why in the world are you so caged?
When you know you should free your inner self...
And keep it so lively a thing..."

To which my answers were nothing but silences...
As my mind fills itself with the worries of the three tenses...
With which my heart never agrees to realise,
The past is dead and the future is not to analyse...
The present embraces you and your entire senses,
With its warm and welcome hands, calling
Me into the world of my belonging...

I had a few misgivings to the world i am assigned...
It's not easy to brave the portals of a new planet altogether,
In some whimsical sort of fancy, the Gods must have designed,
Something for which i need a lot of courage to gather,

i fear sleep, to a drastic measure...
each day i sleep, i grow a day older,
in the memories of the folks i revere,
the folks to whom i though i adhere...

Some things seem so unexplained,
I simply have no clue why...
Can anyone see their dreams so planned,
But suddenly be deprived, leaving you hurtfully wry???
As you yearn for those smiles...
Those smiles which means the world,
Now abruptly gone,
And you feel like floating afar,
In a new world altogether...

As my silent tears engulf me,
Leaving me numb after every storm...
Now i stand in the wind and rain,
Recollecting every moment from the very world i am from...
As i see those smiles so painfully clear,
And lament each memory which never fails to sear...
Every feeling as thick as poison
Slowly choking as i realise its not real...
Every sensation as storng as fission,
Breaking my wounded heart into a thousand more pieces...

This very moment, i want to forget...
Just this once, i do not want to regret...
I want to void my mind of the people of my world,
And feel, as a lone soul, the storm the skies herald...
Standing at what seems like the edge of the cliff,
As my body balances between death and life...
As the storm decides whether i fly away like the dove,
Or remain beneath and hunt for the trove...

As the warm tears stream down my cheeks...
Camouflaged amidst the dorplets of rain...
As a warm path down the pale face...
As the sharp streaks scar my face, numbing every feel of pain...

Unable to contain the pent up fury...
I scream, incoherently, indefinitely, coarsely...
Scream as all pain sears to its maximum throb...
Now on my knees, exhausted of all power,
Screaming so loudly, even the Gods bend over...
From their abode above, to see what the matter...

Drained as i am, face in my palm,
Letting out the final tears, and now, finally, much more calm...
As i sat there, just as a lonely soul,
Finally taking in the atmosphere around me...as the winds howl...
The chill droplets of the mild blizzard, healing me with the cool...
My questions still unanswered,
My fears still unconquered,
I resurrect from all those gashes,
Just as the mighty phoenix reborns from its ashes...
To look forward to a beautiful winter morning...